The Pope Says He Wants More Art

The Pope says he wants to foster the relationship between artists and the church more because the path to beauty can lead to the Ultimate Mystery -  to God.

Go Benedict!! I like this guy.

Just told Samm I probably won't convert but... glad he accepts me as the Catholophile I am becoming. ha ha.

READ IT HERE

Really hard month - really good day

I'm pooped but so deeply thankful for a good day.  I feel squeezed dry and yet so strangely content.  I am falling in love with my kids --in a uh non-predatory sense of course.  :)  I am learning how to be myself with them, how to yell when they are being crazy ("NO THROWING BALLS IN THE YOUTH ROOM," "EVERYBODY START MOVING TOWARD THE GYM...NOW!"), how to laugh hard both at and with them, how to enjoy their energy, their chaos, their insecurities, their need for affirmation, their need for hugs, their need for me to be strong in my leadership and not let them   (or their parents) push me around.

And on top of that, worship (it was Christ the King week) was... so great.  People actually sang, and we did this really rocking version of All Hail the Power of Jesus Name and when we did Be Thou My Vision I was undone by how beautiful it was!  I don't mean ME I mean, like, the band all did such a great job!  It flowed!

I told Samm it was like I made a movie today - the effort, the energy, the rewards - yet only the people who were there saw it. Today can never be replayed.  Only I realize how important it was for me after a really, really tough 2 months at this church.

I forgot - maybe I never knew - that what I am attempting to do is in direct rebellion against the Powers that be.  Meaning, darkness is, temporarily, on the surface of things, ruling.  People are mean, people are starving, people are selfish.  The world is cracking apart and I, little doubting selfish apathetic me is attempting to run in against the Tsunami of darkness and live in the light.  And proclaim the light.  And try to light some other teeny candles with my own flickering wick amidst the winds and rains and incoming waves.

OF COURSE it's been hard.

Leander preached tonight at the 5:30 service and told the story about Robin Hood (old version) where the people are fighting and all of a sudden, one soldier opens his cloak and reveals that he is King Arthur and he has been fighting with them all along.  And this, Leander says, is how it is.  The King appears weak to us now, or... more like doesn't appear at all sometimes.  But He's fighting in our midst, invisibly, and He's going to win and one day the veil will be gone and we will see Him on His throne. 

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Experimenting with my posts. I needed to hide the body because, well, I ramble. So for my few followers, sorry about all the experimental posts. YAY FOR HTML! wow!
Currently writing a fun paper i think I will post later. Favorite sentence thus that I have written (it's an indication that I'm tired too, I think):

As a bold and unique crosspollination of research, Stark’s book hit scholarship circles like a new girl in a small town.

;)

We call it "eschatological hope"

Though style-wise, it's not my cup of tea, I was deeply moved by the honesty in Steven Curtis Chapman's new album "Beauty Will Rise." The idea that his belief in God shattered, yet the hope is not gone. His certainty and cliche "diving deep" has become more like the desperate swim of one drowning and yet he clings to the faith in those around him, those can keep believing. It is a beautiful picture. I'm sure (and desperately hope) he struggles with using something so deeply personal and intense for making radio hits. The line between hope and what sells is a tricky one, but anyways, if anyone has earned the right to finally write some honest Christian lyrics about pain and doubt, he has.

In an interview a few months after the accident, they acknowledged - um yes of course we doubt God.

"We have talked a lot," said Steven Curtis. "And you will hear all of us talk about the process of grieving with hope. That's what has kept us breathing, kept us alive is that while we are grieving this process, there is a hope that we have, that we're anchored to in the midst of just what sometimes seems unbearable."

When asked whether or not the accident brought them to question their faith, Chapman confessed that it did "absolutely", but explained to the GMA anchor that faith is believing without having all the answers.

"My son said the other day that, 'You know, yeah, we are family - like people say - of great faith ... but we're a family with a lot of questions,'" Chapman said. "But that's what faith is. It's living with the questions. That doesn't mean you have the answers. That's exactly what faith is."

What the Chapman family are sure of, however, is that they will see Maria again.

New blog look and also a wonderful day

I told Jodi I only journal when I'm sad and if someone reads my journal when I'm dead (what are the odds of that, honestly) they will think I lived a tragic life. So, posterity (who will even less likely read a blog...!): let it be known that I have good days too.

Today was great because:

- I took a shower and hair actually turned out halfway cute, albeit waaaay frizzy (neither are daily guarantees)
- I went to school all day which i love so much, my brain is swimming in wonderful thoughts:
+ learned about the relational and receptive nature of personhood from Prof. Bill Witt. Reading excellent little book Person and Being by W. Norris Clarke inspired by Barth and Card. Ratzinger and based on Thomas Aquinas... basically giving a much needed structure/substance to compliment the recent emphasis on persons as relational. I managed to sneak in an example into my paper from all the blogs I was reading instead of writing my paper all weekend: in these blogs i learned about the breast crawl (babies do it when they're born if you put them on your chest!), organic baby carriers, fabric diapers, orgasmic birth, and well... oh, you ask is there some news? Nope. Just living vicariously through people's blogs.
K, so snippet from this morning's class notes:

Creation as a good thing HAS to proceed any conversation about fall, redemption, resurrection. We preach the gospel as if its just about sin and judgment. We forget to take into account the beginning of the story. God has made us for love, and THAT is what we are being called BACK TOWARDS. If we lose sight of His love and goodness, and emphasize only that God is angry at you, then we may feel sin doesn’t make sense. If we are not created for God, then really, I can do my own thing and there is no problem. We have poured sugar into our gas tanks. That is the real problem.

+ learned about how cool the gospel of Mark is - never gave it much credit, seemed to short and to the point to be any fun. Also appreciate the purposefulness of the gospel authors so much more hearing Grant talk about them: they have so much political, theological meaning, not just stories.

- Went to Beaver and had taco salad with the Fam. Also. Did laundry there. YAYAYAY!

- Came home and on the drive heard a woman on the radio ask what is wrong with herself/me that there are 140+ million orphans in our world. She cried the whole way through her speech. I cried while i was driving. My life is so... sheltered - easy- painless - self absorbed. My center is ME not my Maker who aches for these little children. Samm and I want to adopt. I hope we actually do. I struggle with the waiting lists, the hastle, the idea that other couples who can't conceive want kids more than I do... yet... then why the millions of uncared for kids?!? Is it just because they are damaged goods? Not babies? God forgive me for ignoring them. God help me know what on earth little me can do about it.

- Highlight: came home and went to Max's Tavern with dear dear friends and husband dear. Talked about how hard surrender is. How everyone's spiritual life looks better than our own. How orphans overwhelm us. How I have a "fear of men" which Samm pointed out, is not a feminist thing to say. So ok, I have a fear of humans. I fear they will not be happy with me and so I cater to them, I let them convince me so that they will not be mad at me. Selfish. Need a new orientation. Happy to have honest and good friends.

Oh yes, and it all began with yogurt and pumpkin spice granola from Trader Joes.