Glowing Dusk

Today was supposed to be snowy and gray.  Somehow, the sun sneaked through and now - at almost seven! - there is syrupy gold light pouring through my kitchen and dining room window covering our house.  Fresh coffee steam is rising from my mug and my little girl is waking up from a nap in her swing - which means I might not get to write this post.  But I might. 

My schedule is Lulu time:

she is hungry!  

she is tired!

she needs to be changed! 

she has to get shots!

There is no 3:00 pm or 7:30 am or Thursday.  Just Lulu time.  So when the outside world calls and says, "do you want to meet at noon?"  or  "can you check that powerpoint by 4?"  I feel baffled and disinterested.  It all depends.  I can meet you at noon if Lulu is ready at noon.

I know my life won't stay like this.  I'm secretly sad that it won't.

There is a simplicity to things, to my life, to my feelings.  They are so tired to hers - I'm full! yay!  I'm cold, booooh!  I'm having fun in the bath, wooohoo!   What was it in the real world that mattered so much before?  I can't remember.