We haven't bought (or collected) anything yet, being only 9 weeks and 6 days. I think in the fall I will start being more serious about a nursery. Right now it seems more than enough to just survive. I am ridiculously tired and on top of that I have a bad cold right now, so I'm sick + tired and hence... blogging.
My friend encouraged me to journal a lot during this time and think about the profound nature of what is happening. My body is becoming a portal into reality, into the universe, into physical existence. My body is also being hijacked by a cause that it didn't have before. But is it really my body making the brain cells, forming the bones, coaxing the heart to beat, knitting the muscles and tendons together? What about the personality developing? The tiny nerve endings which will soon begin to sense noise and light and movement?
As tired as I feel (like I have been busy building bones and brain cells all day) I think I can hardly take any credit. It's happening in the deeps. So far beneath my level of consciousness that I was shocked when I first saw the baby on the ultrasound. Shocked that all that had really formed without so much as my vague awareness. The squirming legs, the tiny fingers and pulsing heart.
I put a size chart at the bottom of the blog. Today it's the size of an olive, apparently.
