The new place. Home. I'm inside that door watching cable TV (whaaat) with Samm and Phin. Is this my life, really? We are so all American all of a sudden. We have a (sort of) yard. A basement. A dishwasher. A Mortgage. A security system. Laundry.
Somehow, even though we are paying less than we were for rent, I feel overwhelmed with comfort and triviality. With the ease of my life....and by that I mean, the ease of the stuff in my life. It's all very nice. But makes the substance seem a little obscure. A little harder to sense. What is all this about? Why all the comfort, all the monthly payments, all the cleaning? I cleaned less when my apartment was less nice to begin with. Now I clean constantly. I get annoyed faster. (maybe, hard to remember).
But on the other hand, we had my parents and their friends for lunch today, and it was so easy to have four people putting the salad together in the kitchen at once (UNHEARD of in previous kitchen's we've had!) and then we all sat down on CHAIRS around a TABLE and ate shrimp salad with berries and home made cajun fries and wine. It was lovely. And then I was happy to have a nice house. And last night dear friends happened by and we watched A Virgin in Spring, a beautiful movie about terrible things and grace. And I was happy we had a tv. So. I guess I need to just hold them with an open hand. Be thankful. Be generous. Be ok with or without it.
