Wednesday, September 16, 2009

First TIme (This Semester) Putting Off Homework By Blogging...

So class started Monday, and now it is Wednesday. Already I am feeling the weight of both worlds I am trying to live in - ministry (emails to write, dates to decide, texts to send, people to follow up with, receipts to turn in...) and school (books to read, essays to critique, papers to write...).

We got through step #430 in the house buying process: URA approved our 2nd mortgage of $55,000 with 0 interest and if we stay longer than 5 years we only have to pay 75% of it back. YAY.













It is fun to watch them building the house literally outside our window. Second story went up yesterday. Second story! I feel so grown up thinking about it. Too grown up these days, too stressed out by silly stuff like bills, checking account balances, etc. 3rd pic is what it's supposed to look like eventually...

Samm bought a motorcycle yesterday. He'd been dreaming of it for a while, but somehow it seemed quite sudden. It's cute and small and retro (1974 orange Honda). I am a little bit thrilled deep down but sadly, mostly have played the part of the disconcerted and fearful wife. Not actually a fun role to play. Why do we act differently than we WANT to act? Isn't that one of the driving mysteries of the universe?

I'm taking apologetics and reading Orthodoxy for my confirmation class I'm teaching. Between the two, I'm thinking a lot these days about the mysteries of the universe. (ha)

Why is there order and sense? Why is there beauty? Why is the beauty so throbbingly broken and wounded? Why are WE so wounded?

I feel both excited and let down by all the marvelous books written on these topics. Greater men/women than me have wrestled long into the night with these questions. Yet the challenge is how to find comfort in someone else's wrestlings. How to connect their thoughts to ours. How to actually take the Words of Hope we have been given from God and find meaning in them for our mismatched and sticky lives.


One good thing that has been clear this week amidst the blur of homework, deadlines, coming visitors, bills, mortgages, etc. is the desire to study/research/teach in the area of ... I guess "theological anthroplogy." The need for biblical scholars to work together with theologians to articulate a biblical theology of sexuality is urgent. Timely. Necessary.

I feel more and more interested in studying these issues in a catholic context (surprise!). I mean, I am open, but the idea that they pursue theology from a philosophical standpoint really intrigues me. I spent the last hour reading CVs of female theology profs (not all Catholic women) at Notre Dame and Dusquesne tracing their journeys, counting the years between BA and MA and MDIV and PHD and trying to imagine when/IF they have had a family, and what their practical ministry was life in between courses. Not to mention... do they ever have time to bake muffins? Do they garden? Do they have coffee with friends?

There are clearly other people doing what I want to do. I just need to MEET one of them... I feel a bit out to lunch as to the reality of my pursuits.

I read the title of a book today "The Best Life Aint Easy, But It's Worth It." (under Moody Pub's Books 'for women, by women.') I agree with the title so far.

So. Back to that life...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Shouldn't be Blogging Right Now

I have to bike downtown to a cafe to meet someone from my old job - Northwestern Mutual who somehow managed to beat me at my old game and get an appointment scheduled with me to discuss finances! The sum of the conversation of my financial goals: to have finances.

In the meantime, I am intent upon keeping up the blog this semester not because I will have more time (such is not the case!) but because there will be so much to process!

I am taking:

Apologetics
Bib. Theology of Mission
Anglican Essentials

And I am beginning to lead music at the Sat. service at Fox Chapel officially beginning this week. And that means my old Sat. hours become more "youth min" hours. And I am an overachiever and have millions of goals for the youth ministry this fall.

And we're trying to buy a house.

Etc.


But I have to be able to process, to write about what I'm thinking or I will go crazy this fall.

Blogs are somewhere between journal entries and coffee dates with friends. Strange animals. But at this juncture in my life, I welcome any means to share my heart with those who have in the past so inspired, encouraged, and prompted my internal stirrings toward the heavenly, my questions about our sodden reality, and our need to live suspended somewhere between the two worlds.

In the meantime, here is a picture from a double biking date with my parents this week: Samm had cut part of his beard going for the "wolverine/elvis" look for the day:

Follow this blog